My New Job Sucks

It's become my new most hated compound word:

Powerplay.

But before I get into that, first a disclaimer and a backtrack.

The disclaimer: I talk up Netflix a lot in this particular entry, but I am in no way, shape or form associated with the company. I have never been employed by Netflix. I don't even have a Netflix subscription and neither would I get one. I'm not big on watching movies at home. The last time I rented from a video store is when they actually rented videos. So if I don't see the need of picking up movies at a rental place, I'm sure in the hell not going to wait for a movie in the mail. Just not. And online streaming? Forget about it. I like tv programs on tv and movies in a theater. So there you have it. Not associated with Netflix. Dont' give a damn about 'em.

Now, on to the backtrack...

About that new job of mine...As you can see from the title of this post there are some issues with it. But first, let me say that the job itself isn't half bad. The hours are definitely better, the people I work with are cool, and the best part is I get to talk about movies (some of the customers can be real douches, though, but they're alright for the most part).

Okay, so the job is not bad, right? Right. The corporation, however--you know, the higher management idiots who make all the decisions?--are the worst miserable bastards to work for. I can only guess why. First of all, they're scrambling to compete with Netflix who is kicking their ass royally. In case you're not familiar with Netflix, it's got a pretty good game: you pay a monthly fee to check out up to three movies at a time. Get a movie through the mail; pop it back in the mail to get another one. That's it. No late fees or due dates. It's a great deal for shut ins, procrastinators (people who don't return movies until the very last minute), and anyone who don't have the time to make routine trips to the video store. Blockbuster tried to go into this market and got their ass handed to them in a bidding war with Netflix. But Netflix had one big advantage: no overhead. In contrast to Blockbuster's brick and mortar business, Netflix's operaton is the equivalent of some lonely nerd's basement. Less cost means lower prices, prices Blockbuster couldn't afford to set. As a result, they got run out of online rental town and loss millions in revenue.

Hollywood Video (the company I work for) wisely kept out of that fight, knowing what Blockbuster was up against when Blockbuster had its blinders on. That was smart of HV, I give it that. But what they are doing now would make the corporate gods cry. It may not be doing the online rental thing, but HV is trying its damndest to bite on Netflix style of marketing.

And so when I signed up to be one of their video slinging monkeys, I had no idea how much the status of my employment would depend on pushing this stupid video package on to customers, the dreaded Powerplay. The day of my second interview (with the district manager, I should add, which is in itself bizarre because I never, never, EVER had to interview for a customer service job with anyone besides the store manager) they run this Powerplay jazz by me.

Now here's a little hint to let you know if your marketing strategy is a good one: if you are having trouble explaining the plan to another person, chances are there's a flaw in the design.

Powerplay is HV's version of Netflix, only complicated.

1. Instead of getting videos delivered to your mailbox, you pick up the videos you want from the store and drop it off in the store. Like Netflix, Powerplay has no due dates or lates fees on its movies (as long as you have your subscription, of course). Still, HV looses to Netflix on this one, because it's easier for dopes (yes, including myself) to drop off something in the mail than to drive all the way to the video store. To be fair, it's a small loss. Most customers are good about bringing movies back before they're due because they are anxious to trade them in. But then, for Powerplay customers the movies go quickly before they realize they can't check out anymore.

2. Just like Netflix, Powerplay comes in different rental plans. Plans range from 7.99 to 39.99. You may have already noticed, but $39.99 is freaking outrageous, given that Netflix's highest package is $16.99. HV's justification for the pricier tags: you get to rent games, too. So not only are we competing with Netflix, but also Gamefly. Pick your battles, fellas.

3. Because I don't have Netflix, in case I've got this wrong and don't think I do, under Netflix you can exchange movies as many times you want. Powerplay, however--and this is the best part--allows you only a limited amount of movies per month. Say you have the $8.99 deal with Netflix, which means you can check out one dvd at a time, but you can keep exchanging that one dvd for another one for as long as you keep up that $8 a month. With Powerplay, that same 8$ will get you 3 to 4movies for that month. That's it! You have option of two new releases and one library rental OR four library rentals. Ain't that just thrifty-nifty!


4. Powerplay is really a point system. Meaning, every dollar you pay is a point, and with those points you rent dvds and games (and nothing confuses crabby old people more than a points system).

And just to bore you with the break down, here's how it goes:

2 pts for library rentals
3 pts for new release rentals
4 pts for blue ray
5 pts for games

After you use up your points, guess what? You're done for the month. Yep! So what do you do after you finish watching your whopping 3-4 movies (that's the 'Silver' Powerplay plan, by the way) before the month is through? Well, you have to pay full price for your movies, dummy. And yes, the five day due date will apply to those.

Oh, but wait, wait, wait! If you get the 'Platinum' Powerplay ($24.99) which lets you rent 8 new releases for the month, or 12 library rentals, or a mix of the new releases and the library rentals (checked out 3 at a time), and you happen to use up all your points before the end of your 30 days, you can rent movies at a discount. Not so bad, right? But that's only under the 'Platinum' Powerplay. If you were a no good cheapskate and opted for the 'Silver' (up to 4 movies checked out 1 at time) or 'Gold' (up to 7 movies checked out 2 at a time) Powerplays--no discount for you, you worthless bum!

Can you just shell out another $8 bucks to get another round of points? Hell, no! You have to wait until your subscription runs out. Now go back and take your seat at the back of the room--and not another word from you! I mean it. Zip it, buster! If getting your stinky old movies at a discounted price really means that much to you, you can always upgrade to the $24.99 plan. Sure, you can also upgrade from the 'Silver' to the 'Gold,' but you want the 'Platinum,' baby. But if you really, really want to win my love then you gotta get the $39.99 package. That's the 'Diamond,' and that's only for winners, and you look like a winner.

So that's Powerplay in a nutshell. It sucks. It sucks hard and I hate it. But it wouldn't be half so bad if that waste of oxygen district manager wasn't giving my poor boss and the rest of us so much shit for under performing in Powerplay sells. More on that turd later. It's time for me to turn in and rest of for a full day tomorrow. I'm going to need all the sleep I can get.